Last Updated on 17/11/2019 by Alex Squire
If you know me you may have noticed that I like going clubbing. I often go to a club in Lincoln where I live but it got a bit boring after a while. They seemed to play the same music every week, and it wasn’t the stuff that I liked. You probably wouldn’t have minded hearing the same tunes every week if you were inebriated, but I don’t tend to get off my face.
So I tried to find other clubs in Lincoln to go to, and there doesn’t seem to be much choice. One was in a listed building with steps that had to be negotiated with in order to get in. The other candidate was accessible BUT the lift to get to the dancefloor wasn’t working at the time. FRUSTRATING!
My birthday was coming up (22nd of May in case you want to buy me a present next time :P) so I thought I would do something more adventurous and go to a club in London (or Landon as the cockneys call it.)
My carer, who is a seasoned veteran of the London clubbing scene, recommended the Ministry of Sound. I had never been there before and was eager to try it out. It would be a whole new experience for me.
The Ministry of Sound opens at 12 midnight until 5 AM, and we planned to stay for the whole night, so it was obviously essential that I got a good night’s sleep beforehand. However, obeying sod’s law, this was not the case! I did not sleep for a single minute. Not ideal if you have to be awake for the next 24 hours.
No matter. The next evening we caught the train to London, fully aware that by the next morning we would resemble a group of brainless zombies roaming the streets looking for victims.
I contacted the club in advance to say that we were coming and so they put me, my brother and my two carers on the guest list. This meant we got in for free! Usually tickets are about £20 each. Not a bad start to the night.
The type of music they play is house, techno and electronic stuff. It’s very loud and a relentless boom boom boom. The music was so loud in some places (they had different rooms) that I could actually feel my eardrums vibrating with every beat. If you put a cup on the floor it would dance across the room. I am surprised that I didn’t end up with Tinnitus by the end of the night.
At one point the music actually made me feel faint and I had to go out into the courtyard for some fresh air. The courtyard being somewhat of a respite from the pounding music.The only thing I had eaten that day was a pasty at King’s Cross station, so being hungry probably didn’t help. Luckily a food van was on hand, so I topped up my blood sugar levels with a hotdog and soon I felt a lot better, and was ready to resume headbanging.
One thing I noticed about people in the Ministry of Sound was that they were very friendly and helpful. Noticeably more so than in Lincoln. As you can imagine there were a lot of people there so trying to get through the crowd was difficult. But as soon as people realised they were in the way, not only did they move, but they moved others out of the way too. Normally people in clubs don’t move until you physically drive into them, and even then they probably only move for self preservation purposes.
I had lots of people want to shake my hand or dance with me. There were even some people who just randomly came up and took their photo with me for some reason, which I found amusing. I think a lot of the people in the club were probably high so their friendliness levels were enhanced!
Also I managed to get some kisses off some of the girls (multiple times), which was the highlight of my night! Like Darth Vader said “the force is strong with this one!” 😉
One annoying thing is that they did not have a disabled toilet so we had to use the normal toilets. It wasn’t too bad but it would have been easier if they had a disabled toilet.
By 6 AM the next morning I was ready to go home to bed. The music was not my cup of tea and was a bit too intense for my liking. I prefer more chart music and stuff that you can sing along to.
However just before we were about to leave we received a nice surprise. One of the bouncers went and got some Ministry of Sound CDs and a mug for us, absolutely free! It was totally unexpected and very kind of them.
After that we took the tube back to King’s Cross station and had a cooked breakfast, before catching our train home where we slept for years and years.
Overall it was a good experience but I personally wouldn’t come back again. The music wasn’t my type of thing. It was too intense and loud. I know club music is meant to be loud, but not so loud that you think your eardrums are going to burst. The staff here were very hospitable and helpful, and even the clubbers were very friendly. Getting in for free and then getting some free gifts at the end was amazing, and very generous. Even though personally the music wasn’t my thing if you are into house and electronic music then I think you will love Ministry of Sound.
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